Monday, October 26, 2009

okay, i don't feel much like full on blogging but bullet points ought to work just fine. so away we go!

- my aunt is still in the hospital. we're in week 4 now. there's no set date for her getting out. she has to have surgery to fix a prolapsed rectum (cue the ew's). she's still batshit crazy. highlight of her nuttiness- she told her doctors that she cooked our cat and ate it. note: the cat is totally fine. some of what's going on with her is hilarious, most of it is terrifying. it's just one big game of limbo.

- i'm planning on applying for grad school(s) within the next few months. i really want to go to georgia state for historical preservation but i'm also going to apply to ucf and university of west florida as backup. i also need to rework my resume, curriculum vitae, get my letters of recommendation and write a personal statement. oh, and look for internships. no sweat. i'm stressed over it but it's totally manageable. i really am excited for this next chapter of my life.

- school kind of bores me right now. only having two classes doesn't cut it for me. i need shit to do. i need the challenge and the busyness of school, not of life.

- i'm going to atlanta in december officially to see lydia and norma jean and gsu and suno and the vortex. i am so excited that i can't even wait. i want to go now.

- my halloween costume is a housewife gone commando. i'm calling it gi june cleaver.

i'm bored and stalling on my class reading. whatevs.

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

i have started the process of looking for/applying to grad school(s). my stress level has jumped about fifty notches in two days. not cool.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

i remember what it was like to see him sitting at the kitchen table in the mornings, waiting for everyone else in the house to get up and get going. when he was here, i would always wake up because the smell of coffee brewing would get to me and i'd know he was up and ready to do whatever he wanted with his day. if i was lucky, i'd have him to myself for a whole hour and i would sit and eat cereal while he drank from his never ending cup. he used to leave puddles from his cup that would pool and that i would drag my fingers through gleefully to make patterns that made us both smile.

i remember when he would call when he was home and the two of us would talk about pro wrestling. about who would win and who would lose and we would argue over me liking ultimate warrior and how he thought he would do nothing. he would call during bears/packers games and talk smack about the bears and how the packers were guaranteed to win and when they'd lose, he'd chalk it up to a fluke. he'd call me a good girl and i'd reply with the word poison.

i remember the time we went out to kennedy space center and my uncle wanted him to be in a wheelchair. so distinctly, i heard "not a fucking chance. i'm not fucking crippled. i can walk." and walk, he did. i think he did it to prove to my uncle that he didn't need wheels to lug himself around, even when he had to slouch over or lumber.

i remember tugging on the jowl of loose neck skin and him sticking his tongue out to make me laugh.

i remember the picture of him with a smurf.

i remember the flannel shirts he used to wear and how soft they were underneath my fingers.

i remember being the first person of my family to learn that he died.

i remember telling my dad to tell him the night before he died that i'd talk to him later, that i was busy studying for finals.

i say i don't regret anything in my life but this is the one thing i regret fully. i regret not talking to him before he died. i regret blowing it off for something so trivial as a test. what i would give to hear his voice one more time, calling me a good girl. telling me he loves me.

i miss you, grandpa

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

i have been slacking on the blog front. nothing important or exciting has been happening, though, so it's kind of justifiable. besides, i think only my-linh ever reads this anyway. let's do a quick recap since the last time i updated:

- i'm done with being sick! yay!
- my aunt is still in the hospital. things are still pretty bad there but they don't know what they can really do there.
- me and my-linh went to our first magic game of the season! we won and it totally rocked. i got to explain to people my crazy love for marcin gortat. mmm, gortat.
- i have to go to my grandpa's thursday-saturday as his chauffeur. it blows because he lives in the middle of freaking nowhere with a whole group of old people. blargh.
- been working a lot. been doing the school bit a lot. been doing a lot, haha.
- i have officially curtailed my spending in an effort to save up money to school next semester so i can, you know, graduate and also for my trip to atlanta in december.
- on that note... i am planning my annual trip up to the atl to see one of my besties, lydia. this year, the trip is planned around us seeing norma jean but i also am going to try and feel out the city a little bit and maybe even poke around for jobs while i'm there.
- i have to start looking into post-college life stuff now. like jobs. and grad school. and where to live. it freaks me out. so. much.

so basically, if you made it through that, congrats! here's a gif(t)!

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when i have anything valid, i'll make this shit better.