Thursday, November 27, 2008

guilty pleasure #1


i love ebay. i love it so much more than anyone could ever know. i don't have a credit or debit card because i know that if i did have one in my possession, internet shopping would easily put me into debt and ebay would be the primary culprit. the random mish mash of everything on the site keeps me occupied for hours and the fact that i have about ten stores saved to my favorites that i check every few hours just to see if new stuff has been put up says a lot about my obsession.

the vintage stuff on it gets me.

the deals get me.

ebay gets me.

such a guilty pleasure.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

i'm a teapot, letting off my steam

in my opinion, i think that everyone has someone in their life that they just can't seem to stay away from. no matter what happens and how far away you are from them, how long it's been without talking to them, you can always slip right back into the same old routine with them and feel like it's been five minutes when it could have been years.

i know who that person is for me and i know it's not the best thing for me to keep going back. it's been close to four years now that we've been playing this back and forth game and every time i get sucked back into it, i always end up being hurt. i don't even know if he realizes what he does to me or the effect that he has on me or that i always end up falling for him but it sucks every time because i tell myself that things will change and they never do.

he's coming back around again and i feel myself wanting to revert to the old pattern but i'm tired of it. i'm tired of the tears that i always end up shedding, the pain i always feel and it's all my own doing, it's all my own fault that i let myself get like that. so now, things are going to change.

i've finally realized that i need to put my priorities first, at least in some form. i'm protecting myself and not allowing myself to revert to old ways and not slipping into the way things were. i can have him as a friend but nothing more. i know this now after a lot of soul searching and conversations with friends. it's for the best and although it sucks a little, i know it wouldn't be a healthy thing for me to keep reverting to this pattern.

so, there is a person in our lives that we always seem to find coming back in and out, over and over, but only we're the ones who decide in what aspect we allow them in. and for me, i've finally decided to set my foot down. and i feel better for it.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

i prefer blogging in bullet points. mind you, they always end up being massively elongated bullet points but it seems to be my style so here goes the random bullet point bloggy bits of boring information for the past few days.

- ice skating on a lumpy rink is not the best thing your school can provide. i have the scraped up arm and bruised pelvis to prove this point.
- they need to make mini zambonis for mini ice rinks.
- i want to be paid now so i can buy a yo gabba gabba shirt from hot topic. best kids show ever.
- i'm addicted to twitter like no one's business now. i had once proclaimed that i would never jump on that bandwagon but i have and i do not want off.
- the betsey johnson outlet store is the best thing i have ever seen. even better is that the salesgirl has me in her book now so i get notified of sales before the public.
- victoria's secret love spell is the best scent created by man.
- all cupcakes should come with a pudding center. it makes the whole confection that much cooler in my book.
- boys create a crapload of unnecessary drama without even meaning to half the time. i generally dislike the majority of them at the moment.
- i have become a hermit in my own household due to insane family members. i hate leaving my room just to pee because i'll get bombarded by the questioning squad of whether or not i need anything. i'm 21, i think i know how to get a glass of water by now, thaaaanks.

i think that about covers it

Friday, November 7, 2008

random bits

-i like spiral notebooks. they keep all my thoughts and ideas neatly bound
-grapes are a food of opportunity
-jank is a fun word
-basketball sucks on tv but is awesome to watch in person
- just because you can wear something doesn't mean that you should
- i have nothing better to write about today so this is filler

Monday, November 3, 2008

i don't feel much like blogging today but still felt that i needed to write something. what i really want to say, i can't bring myself to say in a public forum like this so it stays in my notebook.

it's hard to express how i really feel sometimes. it's how it is for everybody.

today is a case of the blahs.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

insomnia is a crap thing. wanting to sleep and not being able to is horrible. i've had sporadic spells of this off and on for the past few years due to schoolwork and general life throwing my sleeping patterns and my body out of whack. i have gotten back into another jag of not being able to sleep until 3, 4, 5 in the morning and then sleeping either too little or too much.

i think that the worst part about not being able to sleep is that with nothing else to do, my mind starts to wander and it's not necessarily a good thing. it's not that i'm thinking bad thoughts, it's just that i have about fifty million things flying around in my head at once that crash into each other and run a muck and create all of these different tangents that create more thoughts and when that happens, i normally am in bed with no notebook around me to write any of it down to try and make sense of.

my thoughts and ideas are nothing new, i know. everything i possibly think of has probably already been presented somewhere by someone in some manner but with everything crashing around here all the time, it's hard to think straight. i need notebooks to carry with me to write down everything i think or hear or see or what strikes me. hell, i need stock in that.

even now, the lack of sleep is bringing about the crazy talk. lolcat time to fit the mood.