Friday, September 19, 2008

i hate exercise. i don't like getting sweaty and having gnats fly into my face or turning bright red like a tomato because i am white as hell and when i get hot, i flush like a motherfucker. however, i like the results i get from exercise. i like weighing myself and seeing that i've lost seven pounds so far and seeing that my pants fit me better and that my stomach puff is slowly shrinking and that my pants lie flat instead of hugging my gut like they used to and seeing that i actually have definition to my ass instead of it just being some big, flat thing that annoyed me. all of these things make it worth it for me. all the cons are outweighed by the pros. i love feeling like i'm accomplishing something when i go jogging, i love the feeling of seeing the weight coming off and knowing that i am responsible for it.

i hate dieting. you don't get to eat enough food, your stomach always growls, you don't get to eat the yummy things like fried pickle chips, fried mac n cheese bites, burgers dripping with cheese and bacon, etc. but the payoff of it is amazing. your appetite learns to adjust and adapt to the fact you're feeding it less and you start eating less by default, you don't feel as hungry as often and the healthy things start tasting good to it. instead of craving chips now, i crave celery and carrots. i eat lentils like they're going out of style. lean protein? it's my best friend.

i've struggled with my weight for a while now. i was always a bigger kid and then middle school and high school ran around and i stopped running around and i put on weight but i was content being the chubby kid. college came around and i got a job and because i was on my feet eight to ten hours five days a week, i dropped about twenty five pounds and i only noticed that i did when a friend took me shopping and started picking out clothes for me and smalls and mediums fit me. i was so startled by it that i went home, weighed myself and was just blown away. it lasted for about a year or so until i quit said job to help out the family and i coped with my troubles by eating and bam, the weight went on again. i finally decided to get myself into a better situation with my body and to feel more confident with myself and be happy with how i look and therefore, began this new diet and exercise regimen. i actually feel good about it, even though i hate it, but i think for once, i am dedicated enough to do it and follow through.

only time will tell how it comes out.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

the threat of impending papers with due dates coming perilously close to being here has made my urge to blog and procrastinate that much worse. that and having john sitting on my bed while i'm vegging out in my computer chair is not helping. i love having him over but we are totally not getting any work done. we're too busy searching facebook and various other sources on the internet like youtube and the like. it's so much more fun to not do anything and to sit and talk and discuss things of vital importance to our lives and no one else's. this is why we are mind twins.

my insomnia has come back with a vengeance lately. the past few nights have left me unable to fall asleep until at least 3 or 4 and i just don't sleep or sleep well. it hasn't hit the critical level of my not being able to function properly yet but it'll be there within a week or so. i'm more productive when i don't sleep, though, at least at night. i can stay up and work on papers and clean up my bedroom partially or become engrossed in marathons of bizarre foods and no reservations. my next solution is to work my way through the first three seasons of it's always sunny in philadelphia while i can't sleep and try to not laugh out loud....literally.

i realize that i ramble on and probably say nothing of importance but does it really matter anyway? everyone pretty much has a blog nowadays and i may as well let myself keep this and document the random and mundane acts and events of my life. besides, it'll give me and my friends something to laugh about. this is it for today's ramblin' rollllll.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

random blurbs

-nothing quite beats the feeling of winning something on ebay that you really wanted.
-cherry picker smoothies from smoothie hut are delicious.
-insomnia is horrible but it makes you become more productive because you gain more hours in your day.
-burt's bees thoroughly therapeutic honey and shea butter body butter smells exactly like fried ice cream from amigo's. it's the best way to indulge in the dessert without actually having to eat it.
-i'm more materialistic than i would like to be.
-hearing a two year old say unicorn "anoonicorn" is the cutest thing ever,
-vintage things seem more my style lately. the old is new again.
-school is kicking my butt back into gear and although it's hard, it's going to totally be worth it.
-make your own pirate necklaces are a good way to kill ten minutes.
-hair dye is an addiction. so is internet shopping.
-things are groovy.