Thursday, December 24, 2009

new year's resolutions

i know that i'm extremely sporadic when it comes to actually updating this thing but i've decided to make myself a list of new year's resolutions to try and make myself better over the course of not only the next year but my life. yet again, it's another list. go figure.

- try to learn more. this is a particularly good gem because i feel that while i may be fairly knowledgeable in certain aspects of worldly subjects, i am severely lacking knowledge in most of them and honestly, does anyone like feeling like a hurr durr? i think not.
- surround myself with better people. self-explanatory.
- move to atlanta and find a good job for me.
- read more books.
- go out more and enjoy the life i have.

i think this is a decent start for me. the end.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

random blurbs

- once a pretentious douchebag, always a pretentious douchebag. i'd rant more but this statement probably applies to a lot of people. blanket statement ftw!
- being gone from orlando for any period of time makes me miss it and yet makes me want to leave that much more.
- insomnia is both friend and foe.
- my attempts to be witty and deep and thoughtful suck. it leads me back to the first statement i made. i am basically a pretentious douchebag. that being said, here's some la dispute to use as awkward transitioning music away from my blog.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

i love ryan anderson so much. i wish the magic would let him do something like this.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

i am a bad blog mommy. bad bad blog mommy.

my life is crazy. i don't even know what to say about it anymore. things are ridiculous. it's very funny but very boggling.

Monday, November 2, 2009

back from said brief internet hiatus

i caved and got a tumblr. i have hit every freaking internet phenom.

lulz at myself

Monday, October 26, 2009

okay, i don't feel much like full on blogging but bullet points ought to work just fine. so away we go!

- my aunt is still in the hospital. we're in week 4 now. there's no set date for her getting out. she has to have surgery to fix a prolapsed rectum (cue the ew's). she's still batshit crazy. highlight of her nuttiness- she told her doctors that she cooked our cat and ate it. note: the cat is totally fine. some of what's going on with her is hilarious, most of it is terrifying. it's just one big game of limbo.

- i'm planning on applying for grad school(s) within the next few months. i really want to go to georgia state for historical preservation but i'm also going to apply to ucf and university of west florida as backup. i also need to rework my resume, curriculum vitae, get my letters of recommendation and write a personal statement. oh, and look for internships. no sweat. i'm stressed over it but it's totally manageable. i really am excited for this next chapter of my life.

- school kind of bores me right now. only having two classes doesn't cut it for me. i need shit to do. i need the challenge and the busyness of school, not of life.

- i'm going to atlanta in december officially to see lydia and norma jean and gsu and suno and the vortex. i am so excited that i can't even wait. i want to go now.

- my halloween costume is a housewife gone commando. i'm calling it gi june cleaver.

i'm bored and stalling on my class reading. whatevs.

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

i have started the process of looking for/applying to grad school(s). my stress level has jumped about fifty notches in two days. not cool.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

i remember what it was like to see him sitting at the kitchen table in the mornings, waiting for everyone else in the house to get up and get going. when he was here, i would always wake up because the smell of coffee brewing would get to me and i'd know he was up and ready to do whatever he wanted with his day. if i was lucky, i'd have him to myself for a whole hour and i would sit and eat cereal while he drank from his never ending cup. he used to leave puddles from his cup that would pool and that i would drag my fingers through gleefully to make patterns that made us both smile.

i remember when he would call when he was home and the two of us would talk about pro wrestling. about who would win and who would lose and we would argue over me liking ultimate warrior and how he thought he would do nothing. he would call during bears/packers games and talk smack about the bears and how the packers were guaranteed to win and when they'd lose, he'd chalk it up to a fluke. he'd call me a good girl and i'd reply with the word poison.

i remember the time we went out to kennedy space center and my uncle wanted him to be in a wheelchair. so distinctly, i heard "not a fucking chance. i'm not fucking crippled. i can walk." and walk, he did. i think he did it to prove to my uncle that he didn't need wheels to lug himself around, even when he had to slouch over or lumber.

i remember tugging on the jowl of loose neck skin and him sticking his tongue out to make me laugh.

i remember the picture of him with a smurf.

i remember the flannel shirts he used to wear and how soft they were underneath my fingers.

i remember being the first person of my family to learn that he died.

i remember telling my dad to tell him the night before he died that i'd talk to him later, that i was busy studying for finals.

i say i don't regret anything in my life but this is the one thing i regret fully. i regret not talking to him before he died. i regret blowing it off for something so trivial as a test. what i would give to hear his voice one more time, calling me a good girl. telling me he loves me.

i miss you, grandpa

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

i have been slacking on the blog front. nothing important or exciting has been happening, though, so it's kind of justifiable. besides, i think only my-linh ever reads this anyway. let's do a quick recap since the last time i updated:

- i'm done with being sick! yay!
- my aunt is still in the hospital. things are still pretty bad there but they don't know what they can really do there.
- me and my-linh went to our first magic game of the season! we won and it totally rocked. i got to explain to people my crazy love for marcin gortat. mmm, gortat.
- i have to go to my grandpa's thursday-saturday as his chauffeur. it blows because he lives in the middle of freaking nowhere with a whole group of old people. blargh.
- been working a lot. been doing the school bit a lot. been doing a lot, haha.
- i have officially curtailed my spending in an effort to save up money to school next semester so i can, you know, graduate and also for my trip to atlanta in december.
- on that note... i am planning my annual trip up to the atl to see one of my besties, lydia. this year, the trip is planned around us seeing norma jean but i also am going to try and feel out the city a little bit and maybe even poke around for jobs while i'm there.
- i have to start looking into post-college life stuff now. like jobs. and grad school. and where to live. it freaks me out. so. much.

so basically, if you made it through that, congrats! here's a gif(t)!

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when i have anything valid, i'll make this shit better.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

health post

i'm sick. i think i caught the creepy crawlies from my-linh, which i'm fine with, because i boucne back from illness relatively fast. i just feel like poop.

my aunt is really sick, though. they thought her lady parts had prolapsed, which means that they were poking out when they're not supposed to. the doctors in the e.r. said it's actually her rectum sticking out. that terrifies me. her immune system is suppressed from chemo, which keeps her disease in check, and if she gets an infection she could die. they're thinking they need to do surgery on her and that could kill her too. she had clotting disorders that can kill her while she's in there. there's so many things going on with her right now that it scares the fuck out of me. i get annoyed with her sometimes but she doesn't deserve this crap. i don't want her to be pain like i know she is and i don't like thinking that this stuff can kill her. i know i'm thinking of the worst case scenario but i have to because it's always a possibility with her and the way her disease is. i just wish i could make her not hurt or make this shit go away.

Monday, September 28, 2009

i'm working on my paper for my us history class and while not hard, i seem to be struggling with finding the right words to put down. stupid wars.

i'm listening to cursive while i write, though, and it helps a little bit. tim kasher makes me aspire to be smarter and happier. idk why.

Monday, September 21, 2009


that is how this paper is making me feel. my bank account won't post the rest of my check yet so i can't get what i want in the american apparel sale on hautelook or my effin books! THIS IS CRAP!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

random musings

- luke hoskin from protest the hero is probably in all seriousness the cutest canadian man to ever exist. arguments could be made for wade macneill from alexisonfire but wheelchair jimmy from degrassi will never qualify.
- that being said, i very clearly have a thing for canandian men. i'd say canadian musicians but they gave us bryan adams and i'm unsure as to how i feel there.
- when you realize you're about to brush your teeth with bath & body works liquid antibacterial vanilla sugar soap, you sure as hell become a lot more grateful for those dang blue beads they got.
- president obama calling kanye west a jackass is by far the funniest and saddest thing ever. when the president of the nation puts us on an official love lockdown like that, you gotta wonder what's going on.
- the anna sui for target line was a serious letdown. it's bad when the only dress you thought was ugly ends up being the cute one on you that you buy and the pretty ones look like shit on you. seriously, the blue dress from the blair line made me look like violet beuregarde from willy wonka. not cute. let me repeat, NOT. CUTE.
- this is all an elaborate ruse to avoid getting ready for school.

and here's a gif because i need flashy things to distract me always.

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i love me some toki wartooth.

Monday, September 14, 2009


i got nothing right now

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


i was planning on writing a post about my love for basketball BUT that one is just going to have to wait because upon my departure from my nightly shower, i find out that katrina is doing a monthly giveaway!

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i mean, look at how effin cute that is! that one's not up for givesies this time but she is giving away both a wishbone necklace and a i <3 paris necklace. so, if you really love me, you're gonna go and enter this shit too and win it and give it to me! the link's below!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

protest the hero

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okay, my obsession with this band is continuing to escalate to epic proportions. it all started at warped tour 08 when lydia, one of my besties, decided that we needed to see this band called protest the hero. by the end of the set, i was hooked. any band that says that miami is built on cocaine and murder and breaks the rule of not swearing in public by dropping the f-bomb all over the place earns my love.

it's just growing from there.. youtube videos of them. twitter posts. blogs. it's getting to be bad. if there's ever a dvd, i will be dead.

sigh. i love this band.

Monday, August 31, 2009

for some ungodly reason, my blog apparently can't be viewed. go figure. fml.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

lists and gif(t)s that have nothing to do with nothing

i feel like doing a brief overview of myself because a) i can't remember if i have or not and b) i'm too lazy to go back through my previous posts to look. i'll break up the monotony with gif files....per usual.

name: jillian leigh. aliases include jill, jilly, jillybeans, jillarin, jill the robot and various other things that have been dealt to me over the years.

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birthday: march 24th, 1987. that makes me 22 if you don't want to do the math. i'm both a young 22 and an old 22. a contradiction, yes, but that's the story of my life.

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family: mother, lynn. father, tom. older sister, kelly. her husband, ricky. her kids, isabella and nathan. older brother, brandon. younger sister, caitlyn. grandpa, howard. aunt, susie. uncle, pete. crapload of cousins and such.

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pets: one crazy kitten named burglar. love her but she destroys everything.

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origins: born in oak lawn, illinois. lived in alsip and great lakes, illinois until the age of 5. moved to orlando, florida in 1992 and have been here since.

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schooling: durrance elementary, waterford elementary, cypress springs elementary. discovery middle. university high school. valencia community college where i got an aa in general studies. university of central florida where i am going for a bachelor's in history. as of now, ucf is looking to hold me a few more years because the possibility of grad school. ew.

music: for this one, i'm linking my account because it's too much work to get the dang list up. there

interests: clothing. internet shopping. bestie hangouts. food network. travel channel. anthony bourdain. bizarre foods. harassing tourists. random car trips. naps. eating. the plaza theater in downtown orlando. the enzian. the social. backbooth. going to shows. reading ontd (biggest guilty pleasure). history. museums. field trips. love. laughter. life.

random factoids: i refuse to eat bananas and eggs. tomatoes were on that list but i've been exposing myself to it more slowly and it's not that worst form of torture. i have a phobia of bridges. i have a crush on practically every bearded man under the age of forty. i talk to our cat in a baby voice. i love collecting odd bits of jewelry and crazy purses. i'm a tomboy but i love the color pink.

okay, i think that just about sums it up so boo and yah. next time, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled program.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

tuts mi barreh


Saturday, August 15, 2009

my mother gave me a lecture tonight about me being pretty. i find it really funny because this is probably the time in my life when i've been most accepting of myself. growing up, i had a hard time being accepting of myself and my body. but now, i finally hit a point where i think i'm somewhat attractive and work (sometimes) to make myself look pretty and dress up when i never used to and she calls me out for not thinking that i am.

i've never been skinny. it's not meant for me, either, i don't think. i have a bigger frame on my body and while i'm not fat, i'm certainly not thin and i'm fine with that. of course, there's always things i want to improve upon. tone up different areas, eat healthier, exercise more but overall, i'm finally at a point in my life where i can look in the mirror and be okay with what i see. i'm not a supermodel, i'll never win a most gorgeous person award but i like how i look and i like who i am and i accept myself, flaws and all. most of the time.

i have tattoos and i have piercings and i dye my hair but these are things i want to do. they're things i choose to do. my mother brought them all up and let out a sigh and flat out told me 'i don't think you realize just how pretty you are." for her to say this is a small miracle. for me to feel it is another one. i am pretty in my own way. i'm not perfect and i love that about myself. and yes, mom, for the record, i do realize that i'm pretty now. so in a weird way, thank you.

Monday, July 20, 2009

oh my cheese whiz


they are clunky and big and i want them so baaaaaad. i just need to figure out if i can justify it being a hundred and twenty-eight smackaroos! that's pretty much what the bed frame i want from ikea costs! decisions a girl has to make.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


anirtak aka my fave etsy person everrrrr is doing a giveaway this month on her blog and it's this massively cute elephant:


sooooo basically, this means you need to go check out herr blog and etsy shop so i can totes win that cute baby and save up my money so i can buy the fork and spoon still before someone else snatches it up! or you know, y'all can buy it for me.

etsy shop:

Saturday, July 18, 2009

note(s) to self...just to be safe

- don't listen to depressing music while already bummed. it exacerbates the problem that much more.
- lolcats are still the best thing the internet has to offer.
- make a bucket list one day
- be proud of yourself once a day for something
- find something about yourself you find beautiful
- don't ever be afraid of anything. the only thing to fear is fear itself.
- find the guys who invented the macarena and punch them.
- learn how to dance
- smile more

Sunday, July 12, 2009


are funny creatures.

i just want one that will put the same amount of effort into trying to be involved with me as i do them. i don't ask for a lot of time and i'm not overly clingy. once a week is normally perfect for me. i don't demand attention or to be taken out or pampered. i don't get jealous easily and i try to avoid as much as drama as possible.

that being said, i just want things to settle down in my life. i want to find a decent guy that wants to spend a little time with me and maybe hold my hand and cuddle once in a while. hang out and have random adventures with me. smile for no reason.

maybe i'm asking for and expecting too much. love like the movies doesn't exist but i'm aiming for something awfully close.

Friday, July 3, 2009

i love this baby


this little beast is known as burglar. she's crazy. she's my favorite thing about coming home at the end of the day. she likes to wake me up by ninja attacking my foot and headbutting my chin. i lovez her.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

stolen from the bessie; excellent mood and no reason for it

Are you dating the last person you talked to?
nope. single eagle and cool with it.

When is the last time you took a nap?
about a week ago but not for lack of trying

What are you listening to right now?
jenny lewis 'next messiah'

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
my mom

What was on your mind most today?
cheese. not even joking.

Something that happened today that made you angry?
my aunt barged into my room while i was half naked. not fucking cool. my cha chas were out all willy nilly for a good five minutes while she stood there. oy.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
both really. i'd rather not hide them because it builds up and makes me feel odd.

Do you wear makeup?
depends on the day

Are you missing someone?
yes but i don't know who it is

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
for the most part. there are some things that can't be given another chance. cheating, major lies, etc.

What instant messaging service do you use?

Would you date/hook up with your brother's best friend?
LMAO, HELL NO. he makes fun of me and my boots. i want to punch him in the face.

What color is your hair?

Who was the last person you hugged?
the boys i babysit for. they give me hugs when they're really happy. i like it.

Who was the last person you talked to in person?
my aunt...while half naked.

What are you doing tonight?
either laying around the house or playing rock band with some friends

What did you do yesterday?
slept, went to lunch with my sister and her boyfriend, went to school for my midterm, went to dinner with my folks and watched some movies

Are you happy right now?
yeah, i am

Is your phone beside you?
in my pocket

Are you cold?

First thing you do when you wake up?
roll over and push the cat away so i can go back to sleep sans tail in my mouth

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
depends on how tired i am

What do your friends call you?
jill, jilly, jillybeans, jitterbug, etc etc etc.

What is your pet's name?

Do you cry a lot?
not as much as i used to. people don't really how sensitive i actually i am but when i cry, it's epic scale.

Would you prefer to date a celebrity?
my idea of 'celebrity' is not like others so there's some band dudes i would not mind but i never would stand a chance so no

Are you good at keeping secrets?
depends on the secret

Do you participate in gym class?
dodgeball ftw

What are you doing tomorrow?
working and going to class

First person under 'F' on your cell phone?
fusian, hahahahaha

What would you do if your last crush came up to you and apologized for something they did?
think that hell froze over, jussayin

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?

Have you ever flirted with a friends crush?
no way! there are unwritten codes that say you never go after a friend's man. gosh.

Last movie you watched?
this japanese short called rattle rattle. it was dumb dumb.

Has anyone ever sang to you?
not really

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
probably not. i'd get eaten by a goose or something.

What is your favorite color?
gray and pink

What color are your eyes?

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when?
my daddy the other night

Do you like your parents?
for the most part. i love them but sometimes we disagree hardcore.

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?

How long does it take you to shower?
about five minutes. baths take longer.

Think back eight months ago, were you single?
when am i not?

When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
about half the time

How are you feeling?
a little groggy, full from lunch but mostly content with my day

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?

What were you doing right before you logged into Myspace?
i never log into myspace anymore so i have no clue

Do you have a piggy bank that's actually shaped like a pig?
i did a long time ago. now, it's an urn from nightmare before christmas.

Do you want to start over with anyone?
not really, no

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
blue cheese, yum yum

Do you like the night time?
i really do

Anything you would change about your life right now?
there's always room for improvement

Would you ever give your number out to a stranger?
i have before

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
and in parking lots. i have no shame.

Could you cry right now?

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying?
sometimes when i think about my grandparents

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
not very often. i lack internal sensors.

Do you have an older brother?
yes and he's a complete douchenugget. last time i saw him, he put me in a headlock. i'm going to kick him in the jewels one day.

Are you okay with the life you live?
pretty much. i wish there was more spontaneity sometimes but considering what i have to do with my family, there's a lack of it and i'm fine with it for now.

Last person you told a secret to?
probably my-linh. i tell her everything.

Do you believe true love can conquer anything?
no prince charmings but there are people that come close

Do you like to take walks?

Can you recall the last person you liked a lot?
of course

What would you name your future daughter?
i don't know

Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put your hood up?

How much money did you spend today?
none but i need to get gas at some point

What are you sitting on right now?
computer chair

What's something you really want right now, be honest
to have a break, to have someone to cuddle and to have some pie

How do you feel about your hair right now?
i need to straighten it so i can go to work cos i look a hot mess

Do you talk a lot?

Can you play pool?
yes but i'm not good

Who was the last person you shared a blanket with?
my-linh during the nba draft

Has anybody ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

Name something great that happened today.
i ate cheese.

Who was the last person's voice you heard?
my aunt's. it's not pretty.

When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
this morning

Do you curse a lot?
fuck yeah, i do

Was the first person you talked to today male or female?

What are you not looking forward to?
i can't think of anything

Are you a jealous person?
not really

When was the last time you ate skittles?

Anyone you're looking forward to seeing soon?
every day, whoever i meet

Has anything happened to you in the past month that made you really mad?
not really, been kind of bummed over some things but not mad

Do you ever hang out with people you don't like just because you are bored?
no! that's stupid.

Do you have siblings over the age of 21?

What is your favorite kind of weather?

Are you a loud person?

Are you a fast typer?
yes but i'm what they call a chicken pecker. i only use two fingers.

Have you ever moved?
i think my total is four but i only remember three of them.

Do you usually write with good grammar?
I AM A STICKLER FOR GOOD GRAMMAR. it annoys me when people type horribly.

Monday, June 29, 2009

recap on the crazy ass week

- i finally got my first tattoos

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- fell in love with rocky horror and the rich weirdos.
- motorboated fake boobs. let me just say, trannies are creative as fuck when it comes to making fake chachis.
- got told by a drag queen that i was fierce. felt amazing.
- actually dressed up a few times this week. felt pretty. liked the feeling. a lot.
- i have grown tired of the chase. always the chaser, never the chasee. waiting to see what happens.
- in regards to that last one, not rushing anything anymore and feeling good about it. waiting to see what life throws at me.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


don't feel much like blogging so here's a swiped survey

- Available: yarp
- Age: 22
- Annoyance: bad drivers, being underestimated, unnecessarily rude people, indecisiveness
- Animal: burglar the cat dog
- Actor: simon pegg and nick frost all the way

- Beer: nasty as shit. give me the hard liquor please.
- Birthday/Birthplace: march 24, 1987 in oak lawn, illinois
- Best Friends: my-linh, lydia, amber, may, josh
- Body Part on opposite sex: beards beards beards
- Best feeling in the world: the kind of happy where you feel so giddy that your heart feels like it's going to burst open
- Blind or Deaf: blind because you can still feel and understand what things may look like but not being able to hear would drive me mad
- Best weather: five minutes before it storms and the wind is going crazy and it cools off a lot/ fall and winter weather
- Been in Love: not yet but still holding out
- Been bitched out?: lmao, all the time
- Been on stage?: yep!
- Believe in yourself?: depends on the dat
- Believe in life on other planets: not sure yet
- Believe in miracles: yes
- Believe in Magic: FUCK YES
- Believe in God: debatable
- Believe in Satan: i can think of a few people i call satan
- Believe in Santa: ho ho ho no
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: not really until i see it
- Believe in Evolution: meh, impartial

- Car: hyaundai elantra
- Candy: cry baby extra sour tears are ballinnnnn
- Color: gray
- Cried in school: yup
- Chocolate/Vanilla: i love both
- Chinese/Mexican: chinese
- Cake or pie: pie
- Country to visit: i wanna go to iceland something fierce. i don't know why but i just really want to.

- Day or Night: night
- Dream vehicle: 1969 fully restore ford mustang. mmmmm.
- Danced: in my bedroom
- Dance in the rain?: with little kids
- Do the splits?: LMAO NO

- Eggs: worst. food. EVER.
- Eyes: hazel. they change colors depending on the situation. i am a walking mood ring.
- Everyone has a: heart.
- Ever failed a class? nope

- First crush: i still remember, will not name names for the life of me
- Full name: jillian leigh leonhardt
- First thoughts waking up: what the fuck did i just dream about?
- Food: my number one all time fave is chocolate pudding pie

- Greatest Fear: never finding love, being alone
- Giver or taker: giver
- Goals: i have way too many. i'm starting a bucket list.
- Gum: orbit all the way
- Get along with your parents?: the majority of the time
- Good luck charm: nothing

In guys/girls
Eye color: doesn't matter
Hair Color: dark colors
Height: any but normally prefer taller
Clothing Style: normally scenester style, tight jeans, band shirts, beards are the best accessory
Characteristics: intelligent, funny, romantic, affectionate, silly, sweet, quick thinker, assertive

- Hair Color: right now, dark brown. naturally, blonde.
- Height: 5'7
- Happy: most of the time
- Holiday: halloween
- How do you want to die: either in my sleep or doing something heroic
- Health freak?: yeaaaaaah right
- Hate: i don't hate, i strongly dislike

- Ice Cream: cherry garcia
- Instrument: none but i like to sing

- Jewelry: earring in the tragus, bar through my ear, multicolored gauges (i'm at a 4), hoop through my septum, ring on my middle finger, hair tie as a bracelet
- Job: nanny

- Kids: who knows?
- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing
- Keep a journal?: this is as close as it gets

- Longest Car Ride: chicago to orlando when i was little, orlando to new york city last summer
- Love: everything
- Letter: q. it's so underrated.
- Laughed so hard you cried: damn straight. i have funny friends.
- Love at first sight: i believe in it.

- Milk flavor: white.
- Movie: stardust.
- Mooned anyone?: LMAO YEP AND FLASHED, TOO.
- Marriage: we'll see
- Motion sickness? no. sea sickness, yes.
- McD’s or BK: neither. team taco bell.

- Number of Siblings: 3
- Number of Piercings: 5, 4 in the ears and 1 in the septum
- Number: 13

- Overused Phrases: like, holy crap, fuck
- One wish: to be a mermaid for the day
- One phobia: large crowds

- Place you’d like to live: atlanta or canada
- Perfect Pizza: lazy moon with goat cheese and sundried tomatoes
- Pepsi/Coke: coke zero

- Quail: man?
- Questionaires: amuse me

- Reason to cry: boys
- Reality T.V.: is slightly an addiction
- Radio Station: if i have to, xl 106.7
- Roll your tongue in a circle? can do

- Song: murder by death's 'three men hanging'
- Shoe size: 11
- Salad Dressing: ranch
- Sushi: YUM
- Skipped school: yes
- Slept outside: not really
- Seen a dead body? yes
- Smoked?: mebbe
- Skinny dipped? yup
- Shower daily? prefer baths
- Sing well?: tolerable. my sister told me i have a pretty voice.
- In the shower? too much
- Swear?: fuck yeah
- Stuffed Animals?: in my closet and storage boxes
- Single/Group dates: much prefer single
- Strawberries/Blueberries: raspberries
- Scientists need to invent: cures for diseases and flying cars
- Time for bed: whenever
- Thunderstorms: scare me sometimes
- TV: travel channel and food network ftw
- Touch your tongue to your nose:? nope
- Unpredictable: everything

- Vegetable you hate: brussel sprouts
- Vegetable you love: sugar snap peas
- Vacation spot: anywhere with my friend

- Weakness: being too sensitive
- When you grow up: i wanna be in the circus
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: lydia. she's my black twin.
- Who makes you laugh the most: all of them.
- Worst feeling: being heartbroken
- Wanted to be a model?: maybe for fat people clothes
- Where do we go when we die: hawaii
- Worst weather: any day that i can't go outside

-X-Rays: i've had too many to count

-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: submarine

- Zoo animal: penguins/monkeys. the monkeys fling poo, the penguins wear tuxedos.
- Zodiac sign: aries

1. Slept in a bed beside you? my-linh at isdc
2. Last person to see you cry? i think it was my-linh and maybe mike the day my uncle died
3. Went to the movies with you? my-linh, amber and juan to see 'up'
4. You went to the mall with? myself
5. You went to dinner with? the family
6. You talked to on the phone? my mom
7. Made you laugh? the boys

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

i have to get out of this funk. i put myself here and i ought to be able to get myself back out of it. until the meantime, gif files are good spot of brightness.


especially that one


epic fail on my part apparently.

i give up.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

babbling about things since it was a crap day

everyone has something that they turn to when they want an instant moment of gratification and to find comfort in. on cold days, people turn to hot cocoa and fires and snuggly blankets and soup. these are the things i go to when i need/want to find instant comfort.

- my cuddle pillow. i have one pillow that i sleep holding on to because it makes me feel better to fall asleep holding onto something. i have been made fun of for this but it helps me sleep faster and sleep better.
- my black navy shirt. this thing is so threadbare that there are holes worn into it and it's practically become see-through. it was one of my dad's old shirts from when he was still in the navy and it's one of my favorite possessions.
- my nightgowns. i have two that i switch between, a black silk one and a pink and gray cotton one. they're so soft and cuddly that i just feel better when i'm in one of them and lounging around.
- the cat. no matter how bad my day has been, the cat has a way to make me feel better. it could be the fact that as soon as i get in my room, she jumps up on me and nuzzles me or her licking me or her just sleeping near me. she has quickly become my favorite thing.

it's so silly but these are really the material things that make me feel better. my friends....that's a whole other blog post altogether.

Monday, June 8, 2009

bath routines, oh boy!

this is so true, even if mine is more a bath thing than a shower thing. when i take a bath, i am very specific in how i have to accomplish all of my tasks. first, i make sure the water is hot but not too hot or else i look like a boiled lobster. then, the running water gets a big squirt of bubbles and i soak for a little while. next is hair washing and conditioner. the conditioner then stays in my hair for the remainder of my tub time. next is face washing and then a face scrub after that. after that, face mask that stays on the rest of the time, too. shaving necessary body parts is next. and after all of that, i have to turn the shower on to rinse out the tub, scrub and loofah my bod and rinse out the conditioner and massage the face mask off. the worst part is, i don't really like to deviate it from it that much.

sigh, i really am girly sometimes.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

list of the weeeeeeeeek

instead of socializing with the crap ton of people that are going in and out of my sister's house at warp speed, i have holed up in her bedroom to type out some random crap. i'm not in the best of moods today so i'm hoping that i can turn my emo little frown upside down and put a smile back on. besides, there's someone somewhere worse off than myself so i really can't be too bummed out. and so, onwards with the random list of the week.

- rocket fuel (the drink) sneaks up on you real fast
- walking in high heels while tipsy is a valuable asset and one of my new favorite skills.
- the orlando magic pwns everyone
- lebron james is overhyped
- i'm way too into basketball
- fire pits are awesome
- cuddle pillows are where it's at
- i miss my sister's kitty
- i'm going to buy her a leash and see if we can't teach her to walk on it
- i want to go fly in space
- it's nice to have a good support system when you're blue (da be de da be di)
- i love my best friend
- i hate getting shitty wake up calls
- i really hate crying, especially in front of other people
- my face looks like a tomato when i get upset
- i love belting out songs in my car on the highway by myself
- i'm glad i realized that before my trip to naples/miami in july
- i ought to be able to afford my feet tattoos by the end of june
- soap operas suck
- i like making lists

i feel slightly better now. all i need now is some lolcats and kitty cuddles and all is right as rain again. ballin'.


has definitely proven to be an interesting weekend.

the rest of this is to be determined later.

Monday, May 25, 2009

h8 h8 h8 h8 h8

my sister got into a sticky situation tonight. she called me to let me know that her best friend had taken her out to a trailer park in the middle of nowhere so that she could get a tattoo. not only was i mad that her friend had told me they were going elsewhere but i was fuming mad that my little sister was being endangered because of it. i wanted to yell until i was blue in the face when my little sister was finally brought home and her friend practically bolted. i'm just glad to see that she got home and got home safely but i'm still really angry that she was in danger at all.

then, to top it off, i got tagged in a note on the facebookz by a former boy interest of mine regarding sirens with the note that people tagged in it would understand why. i'm assuming he's calling me a siren because of how our situation played itself out and how the curiosity of each other lured us both in. it just sucks because it's like re-opening the same wound i had from him before. i'm fully over it but it's like another reminder of why we didn't work. i hate it because i over-analyze it all and what could have been done different but i know it wasn't meant to be.

seriously, what else could happen tonight to make it that much more maddening and confusing?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

cough cough hack hack SNEEZEZZZZZZZZZ

it is going on day nine on me having this funky cough. last monday, i started feeling really tired and sore and then my throat started kicking in and feeling weird, too. the cough kicked in later that night and the migraine started the next day. tuesday, i felt like a truck ran me over. by wednesday, i was back to feeling like my normal groovy self except for this funky ass cough!

seriously. coughs? who knew that coughs would be so bad/distracting? it keeps me awake at night, it makes me feel miserable during the day. i keep coughing everywhere in every place. nyquil with cough syrup didn't help, regular cough syrup didn't work. cough drops? forget about it! i have the mutant cough of doom!

it got so bad that i actually ended up going to the doctor, which is saying a lot. i hate going to the doctor for myself. i prefer letting things run its course and it being done but not this time. i resorted to medical help and am now on a thirty-day medicine that's supposed to dry the cough right out of me. however, it also makes me wicked groggy, it makes me super thirsty and it makes my vision blurry. pros and cons, i guess. here's to hoping the cough of doom dies out sooner than later!

Friday, May 8, 2009

<3 kevin devine and brian bonz

at about a minute into this video, you see the bassist, ej, point to someone in the crowd and an arm raise up in a fist pump. that fist pump is me. this is proof for my dad that i indeed got called out during the show. boo and yah.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

a story through gif files

the week before summer school is crazy. this kind of crazy:


people this past week have made me feel like this :


or this:


but things are all good and life in general makes me want to do this:


good times

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

can i just say

that i absolutely love winning ebay bids? i feel like a total asshole when i put in a high bid with only seconds to spare, knowing that i have just essentially shit in someone's cornflakes, because i end up winning and they end up losing. yet, i still can't help to gloat a little inside when i win my bids. this is what i look like after i win my ebay bids.


i can't help it, i am materialistic at times but this is a material world and i? well, i am a material girl.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

music is such an integral part of my life. almost everything i do involves music somehow. everywhere i go, i have my ipod with me. i sing loudly and quite often off-key to songs on the radio in my car. i sing and dance in my bedroom and in my shower. music is just highly important to me.

a lot of the time, i tend to associate songs with people or with moments that have occurred in my life. most are positive things, some are what could be seen as negative. as i was driving home today, i slipped in a cd i have purposely avoided for a while because of the negative connotations i held of it. there is a song that reminds me of an ex, that we sang together in the car numerous times, that we danced to once, that he held my hand to when we saw it live. as the song came on and filled my car with the yelping notes and painful lyrics that talk about forgetting someone and how they're gone, i finally felt good about the song. i sang along with it loudly and felt happy. gone were the bad memories, i felt happy. i claimed the song back for positive things instead of negative.

wow, how lame.

Sunday, March 29, 2009


and what, suckaaaaaaaaaaa

Sunday, March 22, 2009

two days before i turn twenty-two. i was feeling really depressed about it for a while because of the whole i'm getting older, i haven't done everything i wanted to yet, blah blah blah. and then i realized that i'm only twenty-two. i still (hopefully) have a buttload of time ahead of me to do everything i want to fit in. it's no excuse to sit on my butt and do nothing but it did make me feel better. i'm happy with my life, as crazy as it is. the next few months are looking as if they're going to pan out into being awesome. just like this :



Thursday, March 19, 2009

i was going to talk about how freaky deaky my family is but instead, i feel like regaling the nonexistent readers of my blog about what i do when i can't sleep and have homework due.

so far tonight, in the span of four hours, i have
-danced around my bedroom
-cleaned half my room
-quickly abandoned that effort
-fit the contents of my backpack into my purse
-played with facebook
-played with twitter
-played with my fish
-not done my homework


Saturday, March 7, 2009


in panama city for spring break until next sunday

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

the culmination of one of the roughest weeks of the semester is about to come to an end in two days. tonight, i have to babysit for the family that i normally do and for the one who got me started in my current job. i love both of them and their kids so much so i don't mind doing it at all. however, i still have to study for my other half of my french midterm and write a five page paper on women in christianity and whether they were oppressed or liberated and then i need to study for the short answer portion of that midterm. I'm not worried because i know that i'll be able to get it all done and pass it.

i keep looking to my friday plans to make myself truck through the rest of my week because william elliott whitmore is coming and all i can say to that is :


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

things that irk me

-people who go into my room without permission
-said people who then take, touch or rearrange things so that i either fall, trip, break or lose
-drivers who don't do the limit
-the word fork
-the octo-mom
-not having enough time in one day to do what i need to and get some good sleep

i am not having a good day with patience. however, lady gaga gif files help.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

lil wayne


i blame the basketball team at ucf for this latest addiction of mine. they play lil wayne like no one's business to get the team and the crowd hyped up. however, because i have heard the songs over and over, i have gotten them stuck in my head and in my itunes.

i'm so in love with weezy. sigh.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

william elliott whitmore, part deux

ahhhh, the great love of my musical life. i found him on a fluke. i just wanted to know where that gravelly voice was coming from on the murder by death song 'until morale improves, the beatings will continue' and i knew that the singer, adam, wasn't capable of such a thing yet. doing a little research brought me to dear, sweet william elliott whitmore.

the first song of his i ever heard was 'burn my body' and i was just floored by the voice that came out of this man. it was like nothing i had ever heard before. i promptly downloaded everything of his that i could find and get my greedy little hands on.

i'm totally hooked now and his new album comes out on tuesday. he'll be in orlando march 6th and i will be there, dorking myself out for this magic man.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

i love looking at however, i find it very odd to go to the website and see the face of a girl i went to middle school with. she and her boyfriend are being charged with the murder of her father.

holy crap.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

25 things about me that no one wanted/cared/needed to know

1) The word fork bothers me. I don’t like how it rolls off of my tongue when I say it or when other people say it. The k sound is just weird to me in that word.

2) Before I go to sleep, I have to make sure that the tag on my comforter is at my feet instead of my face, that my sheets are untucked so my feet can be free and I have to rub the side of my foot on my sheet until I fall asleep. I don’t think it’s anything like OCD, just habit.

3) When I walk upstairs, my ankles crack. I think it’s a genetic thing because my dad’s do it, too.

4) I procrastinate. Badly. Even now, I’m doing this instead of studying for my French test.

5) I worry constantly about the most trivial things in life. I worry about the bigger problems in my life and about the world. I just worry a lot.

6) Tim Burton movies are my biggest weakness. I think he’s crazy and brilliant and I just enjoy pretty much anything that man touches or does.

7) I don’t think I’ll ever get married. I don’t know if I’m willing to commit that much time to one sole person.

8) I really don’t think I’m that interesting. It’s making it really hard for me to pick 25 random thingies about myself.

9) I like gif files. They’re a bright spot of sunshine in a bleak day.

10) I really like tea now. It grew on me and now I can’t really go a day without brewing myself a nice little pot. I feel very formal when I drink it, too.

11) I don’t eat bananas. It’s a texture thing. I hate the way it feels in my mouth when I eat it and it squishes up all weird inside the roof of my mouth. Nasty.

12) I want to learn a load of languages. After French, I want to tackle Japanese. I think there’s something beautiful in being multilingual. The fact it also helps your chance of getting jobs is pretty sweet, too.

13) I’m actually shy. Most people don’t realize this about me because I seem very loud and boisterous but I push this out of myself to combat the shyness. I’d rather be a little loud and have someone notice than to be quiet and never be noticed at all.

14) I look for facial hair in men. Most people notice eyes or smile but me? I notice beards and mustaches. I think it’s the most masculine thing ever and it’s normally what makes me a sucker for a man.

15) I love musicals. The majority of my iPod is hardcore or indie music and then I have all my musical scores. It’s just nice to get lost in them.

16) I wish that unicorns could be a real animal because I would totally have one as a pet. I’m obsessed with them.

17) I’m also obsessed with pinup sort of things.

18) I like vintage everything. Clothes, accessories, collectibles. I want to get a tattoo of a 1920’s girl and another of a French Rococo art piece to showcase my love for it.

19) I love art. I’m not necessarily the best person at observing and understanding certain meanings or what was supposed to be interpreted from it but I definitely can appreciate the work that went behind it.

20) I would do anything for my friends or family. Once you’re in with me, you’re pretty much golden. I’m so protective of people and I act like a mama hen and I just refuse to let anything happen to the people I love.

21) I’m an insomniac. It’s something that has developed in the past few years but often times, I just have a difficult time sleeping so I spend my time cleaning or doing homework or putzing around on the internet.

22) I love celebrity gossip sites, especially Oh No They Didn’t.

23) I swear like a sailor. It’s very bad and I’m aware of it but a lot of the time, I don’t even realize that I’m swearing until after the bad word has popped out of my mouth.

24) My dad and I end every sentence to each other with the word man. It’s our thing right now but it probably won’t last forever. We switch up what we do all the time but he and I have certain similar quirks and sayings with each other. He is the best.

25) I am quickly becoming a basketball junkie. I love going to the school games and the Magic games. There’s something very magnetic about getting to scream at dudes chucking a ball around.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

nothing extraordinary is happening in my life and i am totally and utterly happy with it. my life is very excellent right now. i go to classes on tuesdays and thursdays and actually enjoy them (for the most part), i work on mondays, wednesdays, fridays and the occasional saturday and sunday here and there with kids that i adore and enjoy watching grow up and learn new things. i generally get the weekends to myself to hang out with my friends and catch up on schoolwork and my reading. overall, my life is just pretty darn great right now.

i finally got myself a tea set, too, and have been enjoying proper cups of tea whenever i can sneak them in. it makes me feel very posh, not going to lie.

and i am leaving you with my gif of the week :


that is all!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

first day of spring semester

today was the first day back. i think i technically have two semesters left before i graduate with a bachelor's in history. i'm in the process of looking into what to do after graduation (getting a real job, going to grad school, being an adult, etc). basically all of the scary stuff that i really don't want to deal with yet. however, this is going to be a busy semester with a lot of work but it's looking to be really good. here is the breakdown.

early modern ireland- my first class, 10:30 to 11:45. my professor gets a lot of haters and does talk about them but this guy has changed the way i look at school. he makes you think for yourself and refuses to spoonfeed his students, which is how i think classes should be taught. he also makes me laugh when he name drops warren zevon. it'll also be great to see the new kids squirm when he picks on them to give answers.

women and christianity in antiquity and middle ages- 12 to 1:15. there are a lot of kids i know in this class, which is good. i cannot understand the teacher when he speaks, which is not good. this class is going to have a LOT of reading but i think overall, it's going to balance out and be tolerable.

french language- 1:30 to 2:45. our professor wasn't even here today, which amused me. our book costs 200 bucks, which is not good. i'm excited for this because i really do want to learn how to speak french but i know that i'm going to have to work really hard at it.

modern japan- 3 to 4:15.this class holds the potential to be really fucking awesome. i love japan and the history that lies behind the country and our teacher is pretty cool, a little hard to understand, but cool. there's about 50 kids in the class, which ought to be whittled down soon, but it holds a lot of potential.

that is the basic gist of my school schedule and i'm excited to see what happens with it.