my mother gave me a lecture tonight about me being pretty. i find it really funny because this is probably the time in my life when i've been most accepting of myself. growing up, i had a hard time being accepting of myself and my body. but now, i finally hit a point where i think i'm somewhat attractive and work (sometimes) to make myself look pretty and dress up when i never used to and she calls me out for not thinking that i am.
i've never been skinny. it's not meant for me, either, i don't think. i have a bigger frame on my body and while i'm not fat, i'm certainly not thin and i'm fine with that. of course, there's always things i want to improve upon. tone up different areas, eat healthier, exercise more but overall, i'm finally at a point in my life where i can look in the mirror and be okay with what i see. i'm not a supermodel, i'll never win a most gorgeous person award but i like how i look and i like who i am and i accept myself, flaws and all. most of the time.
i have tattoos and i have piercings and i dye my hair but these are things i want to do. they're things i choose to do. my mother brought them all up and let out a sigh and flat out told me 'i don't think you realize just how pretty you are." for her to say this is a small miracle. for me to feel it is another one. i am pretty in my own way. i'm not perfect and i love that about myself. and yes, mom, for the record, i do realize that i'm pretty now. so in a weird way, thank you.