christmas time. a time of magic and joy and happiness, a time to share memories and laughter and presents, let's be honest here. this year is a little bittersweet for my family. there have been more tears shed than normal, more dregs of sadness being brought back up but in tender ways.
it's been over two months since my uncle passed away and so, this is the first christmas we spend without him. my little sister, unusually thoughtful thoughtful when it came to her gifts this year, got my aunt (his fiance) a calendar made with pictures of the two of them and got my father a photo of him, my uncle and my grandfather who has also passed. my aunt was in awe. my dad cried. he legit broke down and cried.
needless to say, i followed suit. i've always been super close to my dad so whenever i see him cry, i legit break down and sob so there we were, a mass of a family as we huddled together and cried while looking at the picture of the three men before we collected ourselves and just went into telling stories about pete. it still is weird to me that my uncle no longer is a physicality on this earth but it still makes me happy that we can talk about him. even though it still stings to think or talk about pete and what happened, the fact that we can bring up the good things, the stories and the memories, the laughs we had...makes me truly happy.
and so, for the holiday season this year, i have joy. joy for what's happened in my life, joy for what is happening now and joy for what is yet to come. happy holidays.