the saga of donating plasma

so yesterday... i decided to do my part to save a few lives (and get a couple extra bucks in cash >.>) by going to donate plasma.

WORST. IDEA. EVER.

i got to the place around 2:30 and there was a bunch of nasty, skeezy people up in that bitch. i figured i could stick it out and that i'd be cool. it took them three hours to process all my info, weigh my fat ass and get my a physical from the doctor. mind you, i wasn't allowed water because they had to take my temperature. BAD IDEA THERE, TOO, PEOPLE.

so i went in, they stuck this huge ass needle in my arm that made it itch like a mofo and started sucking out my blood. kind of cool to watch but this creepy dude kept staring at my tatters, which was definitely not approvable. after four cycles of them spinning my blood around all willy-nilly like and sucking my plasma out, which BTWZ looks just like bacon grease which is totally ick nast city, they told me that i was good to go. i stood up and was cool. no problems? so i thought.

i got up to go get my monies and i started feeling odd. i went into the bathroom and peed and my head felt really heavy and i was stumbling around. i got out and satd down in a chair and i PASSED THE FUCK OUT. i remember coming to and having the nurse snapping her fingers in my face and feeling like shit. they dragged me to the nurse's room and they checked my vitals for a half hour. i laid down and felt all peachy but when i sat up, i got wicked gross feeling.

i ended up having to get an extra bag of saline and the dude couldn't get the needle in. they got blood all over my leggings. my parents had to come pick me up. they made fun of me the rest of the night. in retrospect, it is hilarious. at the time, it was embarrassing.

and that is the story of my donating plasma. and it is never going to happen again.