i was gonna recap the trip to naples but i got bummed out about my evening and instead am going to take a nice hot bath and forget my woes.

the saga of donating plasma

so yesterday... i decided to do my part to save a few lives (and get a couple extra bucks in cash >.>) by going to donate plasma.

WORST. IDEA. EVER.

i got to the place around 2:30 and there was a bunch of nasty, skeezy people up in that bitch. i figured i could stick it out and that i'd be cool. it took them three hours to process all my info, weigh my fat ass and get my a physical from the doctor. mind you, i wasn't allowed water because they had to take my temperature. BAD IDEA THERE, TOO, PEOPLE.

so i went in, they stuck this huge ass needle in my arm that made it itch like a mofo and started sucking out my blood. kind of cool to watch but this creepy dude kept staring at my tatters, which was definitely not approvable. after four cycles of them spinning my blood around all willy-nilly like and sucking my plasma out, which BTWZ looks just like bacon grease which is totally ick nast city, they told me that i was good to go. i stood up and was cool. no problems? so i thought.

i got up to go get my monies and i started feeling odd. i went into the bathroom and peed and my head felt really heavy and i was stumbling around. i got out and satd down in a chair and i PASSED THE FUCK OUT. i remember coming to and having the nurse snapping her fingers in my face and feeling like shit. they dragged me to the nurse's room and they checked my vitals for a half hour. i laid down and felt all peachy but when i sat up, i got wicked gross feeling.

i ended up having to get an extra bag of saline and the dude couldn't get the needle in. they got blood all over my leggings. my parents had to come pick me up. they made fun of me the rest of the night. in retrospect, it is hilarious. at the time, it was embarrassing.

and that is the story of my donating plasma. and it is never going to happen again.

people come into my mom's work and since she apparently is the cream of the crop and the top of the pops when it comes to being awesome at what she does, they sometimes give her stuff. we think the sucker in the picture is a pomelo. all i know is that it's freaking huge and heavy and i can't wait to eat it.

oh, citrus fruit. you're the one benefit of florida.

it's nearly two in the morning. by the time this posts, it'll be past that. i can't sleep. this is the third night insomnia has struck me again. i don't know why it just kind of comes and goes like this. i'll sleep like a baby tomorrow and be back to normal for a few weeks and it'll come back again.

nothing's even bothering me and that is what's bothering me. contradictory statement, huh? my life is totally awesome right now. i got a sweet new job, my family stuff is pretty calm on the home front right now, school is going just fine. so with everything in my life being on the up and up, it boggles me still that my mind just won't stop being a whirly bird and let me rest.

i like that my cure to this is listening to tilly and the wall and wearing a fake mustache. i r00l.

lush lush lush

but not the kind you're thinking of.

the store, lush. the best place ever. I GOT A JOB THERE. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

the end.

things i love

-idiots on the internet. your argument is moot. don't even try to bother sassing me! what's it gonna get you? fifty cool points behind a screen? DO NOT THINK SO.

-tila tequila. that mogwai looking troll has gone off her trolley past cuckoo town and is clear on her way to the valley of the padded rooms. she is 'mourning' the death of her fake fiancee, claiming she is pregnant with her brother's surrogate child and is now saying that she is an angel sent by god that disobeyed him and now suffers for it. as much as i know i should look away, i can't. at least not until they drag her midget ass off to the looney bin.

- JERSEY SHORE?!?!?! MIDGETS WITH BUMP-ITS AND FAKE TANS AND FAKE BOOBS AND FISTS FLYING AND THE CRYING AND ACCENTS AND THE FIST PUMPS! OH GODDDDDDDDDD, THE FIST PUMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!. ahem, excuse me. returning back to my calm self. yeah, the show is okay.

- tootsie roll pops. you forget how awesome those things are until you get one again and bam, you're sucked back in on the suckers. but only the outside sucker part. the chocolate crap sucks balls. it's like chewing plastic off a stick. blech.

- my cat and her addiction to catnip. that shit's like weed for kitties. i walked in my sister's room this morning and she yanked the bag out and chewed five big holes in it and scattered it all over the place so she could gallivant in it. she's spent the rest of the day stoned out of her mind and she ate a whole bag of cheetos and a box of fudgsicles. kidding about some of this.

and this was this week's edition of things i love.

i'm feeling pretty excited about this upcoming next year and so, i give you the muppets!

the past week, i've been feeling bummy. i think it stems from the changes in weather and me being sick plus contemplating all the major changes in my life that will be occurring over the next year. and what, pray tell, might those changes be?

i am supposed to graduate college this next semester and move to atlanta by december. the graduation deadline is set for me, the move to atlanta is a date that i am setting for myself.

i need to be on my own. be out of my comfort zone. i've lived with my family for nearly 23 years and in orlando for nearly 18 of them. i love it here, don't get me wrong, but i need to be an actual adult and step out into the real world and do something with my life.

the thought terrifies me. leaving the nest is scary shit. i've been sheltered from having to deal with actual adult tasks like paying bills and buying essentials but as much as it scares me, i'm also way excited for it. i'm ready to live somewhere where i still know some people and where i can meet a whole load of new ones. i'm ready to live in a bigger city that still isn't so large that i feel completely lost. i'm ready to make that change.

i think.

i am very perturbed with some people in my life right now. apparently, being straight forward and overtly blunt just still can't cut it sometimes when it comes to getting a message across. i can't figure out quite how to word things but it's just a nagging itch i have that i have to get rid of. while i ponder my life and the changes i'm going to make, here's some la dispute to weave into your brain's lobes.

new year's resolutions

i know that i'm extremely sporadic when it comes to actually updating this thing but i've decided to make myself a list of new year's resolutions to try and make myself better over the course of not only the next year but my life. yet again, it's another list. go figure.

- try to learn more. this is a particularly good gem because i feel that while i may be fairly knowledgeable in certain aspects of worldly subjects, i am severely lacking knowledge in most of them and honestly, does anyone like feeling like a hurr durr? i think not.
- surround myself with better people. self-explanatory.
- move to atlanta and find a good job for me.
- read more books.
- go out more and enjoy the life i have.
- GRADUATE.

i think this is a decent start for me. the end.

random blurbs

- once a pretentious douchebag, always a pretentious douchebag. i'd rant more but this statement probably applies to a lot of people. blanket statement ftw!
- being gone from orlando for any period of time makes me miss it and yet makes me want to leave that much more.
- insomnia is both friend and foe.
- my attempts to be witty and deep and thoughtful suck. it leads me back to the first statement i made. i am basically a pretentious douchebag. that being said, here's some la dispute to use as awkward transitioning music away from my blog.

i love ryan anderson so much. i wish the magic would let him do something like this.

i am a bad blog mommy. bad bad blog mommy.

my life is crazy. i don't even know what to say about it anymore. things are ridiculous. it's very funny but very boggling.

back from said brief internet hiatus

i caved and got a tumblr. i have hit every freaking internet phenom.

thisurlwastaken.tumblr.com

lulz at myself

okay, i don't feel much like full on blogging but bullet points ought to work just fine. so away we go!

- my aunt is still in the hospital. we're in week 4 now. there's no set date for her getting out. she has to have surgery to fix a prolapsed rectum (cue the ew's). she's still batshit crazy. highlight of her nuttiness- she told her doctors that she cooked our cat and ate it. note: the cat is totally fine. some of what's going on with her is hilarious, most of it is terrifying. it's just one big game of limbo.

- i'm planning on applying for grad school(s) within the next few months. i really want to go to georgia state for historical preservation but i'm also going to apply to ucf and university of west florida as backup. i also need to rework my resume, curriculum vitae, get my letters of recommendation and write a personal statement. oh, and look for internships. no sweat. i'm stressed over it but it's totally manageable. i really am excited for this next chapter of my life.

- school kind of bores me right now. only having two classes doesn't cut it for me. i need shit to do. i need the challenge and the busyness of school, not of life.

- i'm going to atlanta in december officially to see lydia and norma jean and gsu and suno and the vortex. i am so excited that i can't even wait. i want to go now.

- my halloween costume is a housewife gone commando. i'm calling it gi june cleaver.

i'm bored and stalling on my class reading. whatevs.

i have started the process of looking for/applying to grad school(s). my stress level has jumped about fifty notches in two days. not cool.

i remember what it was like to see him sitting at the kitchen table in the mornings, waiting for everyone else in the house to get up and get going. when he was here, i would always wake up because the smell of coffee brewing would get to me and i'd know he was up and ready to do whatever he wanted with his day. if i was lucky, i'd have him to myself for a whole hour and i would sit and eat cereal while he drank from his never ending cup. he used to leave puddles from his cup that would pool and that i would drag my fingers through gleefully to make patterns that made us both smile.

i remember when he would call when he was home and the two of us would talk about pro wrestling. about who would win and who would lose and we would argue over me liking ultimate warrior and how he thought he would do nothing. he would call during bears/packers games and talk smack about the bears and how the packers were guaranteed to win and when they'd lose, he'd chalk it up to a fluke. he'd call me a good girl and i'd reply with the word poison.

i remember the time we went out to kennedy space center and my uncle wanted him to be in a wheelchair. so distinctly, i heard "not a fucking chance. i'm not fucking crippled. i can walk." and walk, he did. i think he did it to prove to my uncle that he didn't need wheels to lug himself around, even when he had to slouch over or lumber.

i remember tugging on the jowl of loose neck skin and him sticking his tongue out to make me laugh.

i remember the picture of him with a smurf.

i remember the flannel shirts he used to wear and how soft they were underneath my fingers.

i remember being the first person of my family to learn that he died.

i remember telling my dad to tell him the night before he died that i'd talk to him later, that i was busy studying for finals.

i say i don't regret anything in my life but this is the one thing i regret fully. i regret not talking to him before he died. i regret blowing it off for something so trivial as a test. what i would give to hear his voice one more time, calling me a good girl. telling me he loves me.

i miss you, grandpa

i have been slacking on the blog front. nothing important or exciting has been happening, though, so it's kind of justifiable. besides, i think only my-linh ever reads this anyway. let's do a quick recap since the last time i updated:

- i'm done with being sick! yay!
- my aunt is still in the hospital. things are still pretty bad there but they don't know what they can really do there.
- me and my-linh went to our first magic game of the season! we won and it totally rocked. i got to explain to people my crazy love for marcin gortat. mmm, gortat.
- i have to go to my grandpa's thursday-saturday as his chauffeur. it blows because he lives in the middle of freaking nowhere with a whole group of old people. blargh.
- been working a lot. been doing the school bit a lot. been doing a lot, haha.
- i have officially curtailed my spending in an effort to save up money to school next semester so i can, you know, graduate and also for my trip to atlanta in december.
- on that note... i am planning my annual trip up to the atl to see one of my besties, lydia. this year, the trip is planned around us seeing norma jean but i also am going to try and feel out the city a little bit and maybe even poke around for jobs while i'm there.
- i have to start looking into post-college life stuff now. like jobs. and grad school. and where to live. it freaks me out. so. much.

so basically, if you made it through that, congrats! here's a gif(t)!



when i have anything valid, i'll make this shit better.

health post

i'm sick. i think i caught the creepy crawlies from my-linh, which i'm fine with, because i boucne back from illness relatively fast. i just feel like poop.

my aunt is really sick, though. they thought her lady parts had prolapsed, which means that they were poking out when they're not supposed to. the doctors in the e.r. said it's actually her rectum sticking out. that terrifies me. her immune system is suppressed from chemo, which keeps her disease in check, and if she gets an infection she could die. they're thinking they need to do surgery on her and that could kill her too. she had clotting disorders that can kill her while she's in there. there's so many things going on with her right now that it scares the fuck out of me. i get annoyed with her sometimes but she doesn't deserve this crap. i don't want her to be pain like i know she is and i don't like thinking that this stuff can kill her. i know i'm thinking of the worst case scenario but i have to because it's always a possibility with her and the way her disease is. i just wish i could make her not hurt or make this shit go away.

i'm working on my paper for my us history class and while not hard, i seem to be struggling with finding the right words to put down. stupid wars.

i'm listening to cursive while i write, though, and it helps a little bit. tim kasher makes me aspire to be smarter and happier. idk why.